Improv hurts me 🎭 and why I keep going back

My improv teacher gave me notes last night.

She was calling me "in"

But I felt "called out."

Do you experience the Imposter Syndrome, << Test First Name >>?

To me, being triggered by my inner imposter feels like an OUCH.

Pain in my collar bones.

Pain in my wrist bones.

I instantly recognize it as hurt feelings.

And I know those feelings are coming from a very young place that believes she isn't smart enough.

The gift of being therapized for-eva and also being a coach for a long time is that I can finally say that I am aware that the imposter belief isn't all true.

But that doesn't stop the feeling from showing up with proof that I don't belong here.

Those mean spirited thoughts that whisper, "Duh, you suck and don't belong here."

It want's me to STOP trying new things because they feel too risky!

Fear doesn't want to me to feel shame. 

But shame me it will, as long I insist on stretching into new territory.

It would rather me feel NOTHING SPECIAL & LEARN NOTHING NEW, then feel the aliveness of a temporary "ouch."

And what better place to test that 'ol gem of a belief if not in an improv class.

Where the point is to be an imposter. 

Even my imposter thinks I stink at pretending to be something I'm not.

A girl just cannot win, can she?

I am in solidarity with you.

When you choose to take a risk to try something that feels vulnerable - it's because a part of you DESIRES to grow into the people and spaces you want to inhabit.

How brave you are!

If your imposter shows up, go ahead and feel the hurt. 

Then call yourself back in.  

You have work to do.  What is your next move?