Sep 303 min read

It Makes Sense

It makes sense.

The anxiety and all the resistance we experience when we approach people and things that trigger old fears -- I want you to know that it makes sense.

There is nothing wrong with me because I am still so often confounded by how complicated I can make a writing task when the stakes feel too high.

There is nothing wrong with a client who procrastinates on an outreach she wants to make, and for some "mysterious" reason she just can't bring herself to do it.

There is nothing wrong with you if your behavior or your thoughts sabotage your most heartfelt desire to do things differently.

There is nothing wrong with us.

Firstly, we are wired to avoid threat.

Evolution brought our fear center on board first, and for good reason.But evolution hasn't bothered to evolve that oldest part of the brain.

It functions as it always has - to keep us alive and away from danger at all costs.So we have to contend with the biological fact that if something scared us once - even a hint of it (and even the unconscious perception of that hint) will trigger conditioned responses we've been rehearsing our whole lives.

Secondly, we had really good reason to protect ourselves from numerous dangers - real and perceived - when we were little. Some of us have experienced trauma on top of those threats.

Unraveling how the conditioned ways our bodies respond to threat is the adult work you - if you are reading this then Yes, You - will do in order TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY because you want to grow.

But wanting to do something new and actually doing it takes practice.

We have to engage the more evolved parts of our brain so that they communicate with our bodies - the emotions and sensations that our fear interprets as IMMINENT and REAL THREAT.

We have to examine our internal narratives, and how we relate to other people and the world.

We have to become aware of our actions and our non actions too. It's hard work, and painful at times.

But it makes sense.

That is the work I do with my clients and that is the work we are doing in the Unstoppable course now.I have to walk the talk too.

Right now, I am telling myself.Naomi, sweetheart. It make sense that you are doing backflips to avoid speaking from your heart on this matter. I know you are afraid. I know it feels unsafe. And, my darling, boy does that make sense. You always feared that you would be harshly judged, dismissed, and abandoned by your parent if trusted your own voice.

After noticing, we must care for the scared parts.

We must confirm and then nurture what makes sense.

Then I have to practice, and practice, and practice.

It's my adult task to create a safe enough space make a choice to act when it feels risky.

So that when I am ready to act, I am also ready to feel the fear that will want to insert itself into the moment I have prepared to face.

And won't that make sense?

I'm running my four-month Unstoppable course right now, and a participant shared,"This program … is such a safe way to explore getting back to parts of me that I have just put on mute.