Ever stun yourself by what comes out of your mouth at a networking event?
Excitement, nerves, trepidation - individually or together, these feelings will collude to make sure that we under-prepare for such occasions.
The problem with under-preparing for things that scare us is that we feel more vulnerable in that new situation, not less.Preparing tames the nervous system.Preparing positions us to feel confident about relating to new people and new situations.
What happened the last time you found yourself face to face with a well-meaning stranger who asked, "What do you do?
😅Did you turn your gaze to the floor to mask scrambling for a coherent response?
🤢Did you go all verbal diarrhea on them or deflect attention away from yourself to the charcuterie platter🧀?
🤪Did you say something disparaging about yourself?
Whatever you did, it's 100% NORMAL.
Our human minds are scanning for threat 24/7.
When we hear the question, What do you do?, our nervous system gets scared.
Depending on our conditioning, how we respond might be different for each of us, but the result is the same:
We feel "caught off guard" and left feeling like we betrayed ourselves, but not sure exactly why.
When we don't prepare we miss out.We miss out on the kind of opportunities and synergies that might arise if we stay open, clear and confident.
But we miss out on something else too.
After a networking event the other day, my client texted this note:When we prepare what we want to say, we also train ourselves to believe that the amazing person we are talking about is actually ourselves.
The alarms will quiet.
Each time you prepare and then test your stance, you gather proof that you have something to say that matters to you.
My clients will tell you - I am a stickler for putting their desire into words that matters to them.That's how to reframe yourself to yourself.
When you do that, "What do you do?" is a question you will want to be asked and want even more to answer!
Practice preparing to make connections that feel uncomfortable.That's where the opportunities are - go get them!
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